Yesterday I released the season 1 recap of Game of Thrones. Well in my most typical Bill Belichick voice “we are on to season 2”. Sunday is coming up here quickly so let me help you get back up to date on what happened in Game of Thrones.
Season 2 is basically a nice set up show. I got to say it wasn’t the most entertaining series but it set up a ton of important factors for us in the Game of Thrones. So basically let me remind you quickly and swiftly here. Season 2 was basically just a ton of moving around. We kind of figured out that the 7 kingdoms were at war. Dany had to figure out how to move around the Red Waste of the East with some fucking dragon babies. The Baratheon brothers were beefing and so were the Lannisters. Anyways you get the point. Let’s highlight the main topics:
The Seven Kingdoms Are At War
So this can be a bit confusing. So things are moving here remember the first episode? It begins with a red comet in the sky which means all who saw it think it means they definitely are going to win the war. Not necessarily true though. It’s just a comet relax folks. The main people here are Dany and her dragons and her small group of people who follow her. Robb Stark, who’s the king of the North, Joffrey (that little prick). Stannis Baratheon at Dragonstone and Renly Baraethon at King’s Landing.
All The Baratheons Are In The Mix
So after King Robert died all his brothers are like “shit, it should be my turn”. There’s the good and great Renly; who would have made a great King. But suffers a bad ending. There’s also Stannis from Dragonstone who kind of falls in with the red priestess Melisandre and converts to the Lord of Light. Cool. Confused? Good.
Melisandre Paints The Kingdoms Red
So we meet Stanni’s new girl and spiritual advisor Melisandre. We know she’s up to no good when she says “the night is dark and full of terrors.” She advises Stannis to take on everyone at once. Who’s everyone? Renly, Robb, and Joffrey. Doesn’t go well. They later make the “shadow baby” who kills Renly.
Joffrey Is Still The King And I Still Hate Him
Just want to remind everyone that Joffrey is a little prick.
Tyrion And Cersei Hate Each Other
You now find out how much the Lannister’s hate each other especially these two (obviously she likes her other brother cause she keeps having sex with him)She’s kind of a drunk at this point because her son Joffrey sucks ass so much. But Tyrion becomes my favorite character when he slaps Joffrey across the face cause Joffrey if I didn’t mention before is a little bitch.
Sam Meets Gilly
So one of the men of the Night’s Watch Sam at Craster’s keep meets Sam and rescues her. She’s pregnant and wants to escape to keep the child. Pretty cool; wasn’t sure how this connected to show at all but you figure that out later.
Arya Makes Her List
Arya gets mad obviously after seeing her dad executed which duh. So she flees King’s Landing. She pretends to be a boy named “Arry”. Everyone pretends to fall for it. She makes a list on who she wants to kill. She’s a fucking savage. She becomes my 2nd favorite character on the show.
Dany Wanders The Desert
So she gives birth to some dragons and finds her self in a bit of a pickle. She needs to cross the desert. Gets invited to Qarth (which is a cool ass city). They don’t welcome her as nice as she hoped. They try to capture her dragons. She’s like nah. And her and Ser Jorah got to find a way out.
Theon Loses It
So this can get a bit confusing so listen up. Theon gets King Robb to send him to Pyke to try to get help from his dad. He gets denied. Theon is pissed. So he betrays Robb Stark (idiot). Robb is fucking pissed. So he sends Ramsay Snow (Bolton) to capture him. That doesn’t go well for Theon. He tortures him and he’s now turned into Reek. Whoa.
The Battle Of Blackwater
Ok this is the most important battle of season 2. In this episode, Stannis attacks King’s Landing with a ton of ships. But somehow, Tyrion saves the day; he always fucking does. Stannis is pissed, And Melisandre is like “oh well, get em’ next time”.
Season 2 recap coming tomorrow: To follow George Jarjour on twitter click here.